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Anatomy Ultrasound

Ultrasound 19w6d

Today Darius and I went to the birthing center for the 20 week anatomy ultrasound. Everything looks good. Placenta looks good and is posterior (which explains why I’m feeling Bae so much sooner than I ever felt LP). Brain is braining, there are two kidneys, the correct number of arm and leg bones, etc. Bae…
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Bump it up

Kiss the belly

When we went to New Orleans the other week for my sister’s wedding I was starting to think that maybe I had a bit of a bump, but I still felt like I was at the “pregnant or too much pizza” stage of things. I still rocked my awesome king cake maternity shirt. I’m pretty…
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NT Scan and all is well

ultrasound for nt scan

A week ago today I went into a perinatal clinic to have a Nuchal translucency (NT) scan done. Figured it was a good idea, what with me being of “advanced maternal age” and all. When I went in for Little Prince’s I had it done at the birthing center, but the birthing center is between…
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40-Week Mark

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I hate the term “due date.” Due date is a term that causes pregnant women lots of stress. When a woman* who is excited to have a child first finds out she is pregnant, one of the first things she does is try to calculate her due date. She then becomes very attached to this date. Most women (especially first time moms) believe that this date that their children will be born.

Often times when women go to the doctor/midwife for the first time, they have an ultrasound to make sure that everything is healthy and progressing. At this point, the fetus is often measured and then the woman is given an “official due date.” If the official due date is off from the one she calculated, the pregnant woman can become very upset, even if it’s only a few days. This is silly (but I’d never say that to a pregnant woman’s face), because what does it matter if it’s a few days off. Bodies are different; menstrual cycle times are different; luteal phases are different; fetal development can even be slightly different.

That brings me to my biggest problem with due dates. Due date implies that this is the actual date that something will happen. But we know from research that the average gestational time for a human is 40 weeks with a standard deviation of about 10 days. That means that most babies are born between 38.5 and 41.5 weeks. That’s a range of three weeks! I read somewhere (but I can’t find it now) that only 30% of women give birth on their due dates. That’s a pretty small amount.

And due dates can be used to pressure pregnant women into medically unnecessary procedures.** “Oh, your due date has past and the baby isn’t here yet, we should induce you right now, never mind that it’s only two days later and still well within one standard deviation.” It can work too, because the woman has a very specific date in her head is willing to try to mess with nature when nature often knows exactly what it is doing.

It can be even worse for women who are trying to plan maternity leave (especially in the United States) or for women who are planners, because babies can come before their due date and they can come after. Babies can’t tell time, they only know that they’re ready when they’re ready. It’s hard to know if you’ll make it through the work day or if it will be your last day of work for a while and is everything ready and done? And if you go past your due date, then everyone starts asking you if you are “still” pregnant, like there’s something wrong, instead of your baby just needing a bit more time.

So what can we do about it? The simplest solution is to replace due date with new term. I propose “40-week mark.”

40-week mark is an easy term to understand. It’s the date that a fetus will reach the average of 40 weeks of gestation. It will give pregnant women an approximate date, but without the connotation of something being due to happen on an exact date. It will give medical professionals the information they need to know how far along a woman is in her pregnancy and when to be concerned if she goes into labor much earlier than her 40-week mark or goes to a 42-week mark (there can be known complications in both of these directions). It can help family, co-workers etc have an idea of when a baby will be born but again without a strong way to put pressure on the woman if she passes the mark.

From now on I will no longer use the term due date. I will use the term 40-week mark. Just hope that others out there will join me in this.

* I am using female pronouns in this post as the majority of people who have the organs to gestate babies are female. However, I want to acknowledge that some males also get pregnant and they should not be left out of this either.

** There are times where there are medically necessary procedures that need to be done for the health of the mom, the baby, or both. This is not to discount those. I’m so thankful that we live in a society where women are expected to live through childbirth and more babies survive than don’t. But I do believe that we over use these procedures for a variety of reasons. Research shows that medical interventions should be around the 5-10% mark and are often at a 30% mark or higher.

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So different the second time around

us_4-7-15

I had my second midwife visit on Tuesday. It went very well and so different from the last time I had a pre-natal visit around 11-12 weeks. That time, when the midwife got out the Doppler and couldn’t find a heartbeat I was freaking out. This time, however, when she got out the Doppler, I…
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Another life form detected!

announce

That’s right, Darius and I are expecting another child. I am currently 9 weeks and 2 days pregnant, with a 40-week mark of 10/24/15 (I hate the term due date). We’re calling it “Bae” for now (get it? get it?). So far everything is going really well. I’m mostly just exhausted and have to pee…
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The worst kept secret

I swear, I am so bad at keeping this pregnancy anywhere close to a secret. Even though I’m only 8.5 weeks along, I’m just busting at the seams to tell everyone. With Little Prince I found out later into the pregnancy (5-6 weeks instead of 3 weeks). So I’ve been holding on to this secret for so much longer. Except I’m telling so many more people this time before I do the big announcement. I’ve told family on both sides already, and y’all, and a few of my secret FB groups, and most of my best friends, and a few people at work…and now, my manager. I was going to wait until our 1×1 on Monday, but I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Now that we’ve seen the baby and heard the heartbeat, chance of anything going wrong is like 2%. I even made a cute pregnancy announcement. It’s taking all of my willpower not to post it publicly right now.

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(not) freaking out

I had my first midwife visit today. I brought some cupcakes that Little Prince and I made over the weekend to celebrate the fact that he is fully weaned at 3.75 years old.

Of course insurance is dumb and doesn’t want to cover anything as in-network. I’ll have to apply for a gap exception. I had to last time, so I’m too worried about it.

I got to see one of the midwives that already knew me from LP’s birth. We had a good talk, a good exam, the blood draw was easy, and she said that while my uterus was definitely bigger, just like last time it was tilted backwards so it was hard to get a read on anything.

This is where things went a bit weird. She wanted to do a quick stomach ultrasound just to double check everything. But just like last time it was hard to see anything with a stomach ultrasound. We did find something, which is good. But when she tried to measure it, it was measuring long for 7w3d (which is about where I’m at). Also there was this weird line next to it. And we couldn’t hear a heartbeat. So she wanted me to see the ultrasound tech to get it all checked out and make sure everything is normal and that the line isn’t anything weird (or a second one). But the u/s tech gave her notice today. So I was going to have to go to another place and get it done there. However, as I was checking out, an appointment opened up for tomorrow at the South location. Luckily I didn’t have any meetings for that time so I took it.

Then we went back to the exam room and finished the talk about all the things i have to do now that I’m pregnant and all the different tests that can be done, my nutrition, etc. The nice thing about being 35 is that some of the prenatal testing may be covered by insurance. Then I took my weight and peed in a cup (fun!) and checked out (see above).

So now I’m freaking out because what if something is wrong or if it is twins. If something is wrong I’ll be devastated. If it’s twins I don’t know what we’ll do because we’re going to have to scrape together and save just for another one. Also, I won’t be able to use the birthing center and that would make me sad. I’m sure it’s fine. If we could have done a transvag ultrasound right then I’m sure we would have seen that.

I’m also annoyed with myself because when the birthing center called a few weeks ago to schedule this appointment, they wanted to do it for next week. But I was so impatient to confirm everything that I lied and said that next week was too busy and could I come in this week instead. I bet if I had waited then the baby would be bigger and everything would have shown as just fine. So I feel like this freaking out is totally my own fault. :(

In other news, I’ve decided to call it Bae. Get it? I was going to call it Frolic, but I just wasn’t feeling that name as much. Also my sister assures me that bae is a very hip term right now.

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Two Lines

I had a feeling since Sunday I was pregnant. I was going to wait until Saturday (the first fully missed cycle day) to test… but I’m impatient. I tested this morning. There were two very clear blue lines on that test! I’ve had a few chemical pregnancies before, but like with LP, I have a really good feeling about this. It would put the due date around Halloween.

I texted a picture of the test to Darius. His response was, “Seriously?” which I guess is better than his response from last time.

Of course now it’s all I can think about. So glad I’m working from home today because I just have so little focus.